Escaping Typical

So, in homeroom I was asked to write a letter to my future self at the beginning of the school year. It was sealed up to be saved until around graduation when I could read it again. I finally got to open it on Friday.

I had forgotten what I had written, how amazingly lost and broken I was, how full of doubtful hope I had been. When I read the words that I wrote merely months ago…I almost broke into tears. I was in such a bad place. A grim, dark, devastating place. Not one of anger…one of sadness and desperation. All I wanted was strength and help. In the letter I wrote about how late I was on college applications and how I was tired of picking myself back up again only to be knocked down. I told myself how desperately I needed to believe in myself and how I needed to smile so much more. I also wrote that the only reason I continued to push on was for a better, happier, stronger me and how I hoped that’s what I was when rereading the letter.

I can honestly say…I accomplished that goal. Yes, feelings for Jeremy resurface at times…but, only because he was my first true love and some of those feelings will never go away until I find my perfect guy. I’m just…a happy person. I’m the Natalie that I once was…before the break up…but so much better. It’s like Natalie Version 2.0. I’m so much stronger and I have so much more patience than I did. I’m just…in a much better place.

So…for all of you guys and gals still reading this who are in a bad place right now…don’t give up quite yet. You have so much ahead of you…trust me, I know. When I wrote that letter I felt like it was over. I was stressed emotionally and physically and there was a constant black raincloud over my head…everything bad happened to me…not to mention the pain of being abandoned by someone whom I truly loved. My hope was waning. But, look at me now. :) Look how far I’ve come. It just takes a little bit of time and effort and yes…hope. Just keep struggling through whatever it is you’re going through and know that one day you’ll be in a happier, sunnier place. <33

Until then, I’ll be here for every single one of you. I know how it feels to feel utterly alone. To have friends that won’t or can’t listen. To be going through things that seemingly no one you know understands. It’s a horrible feeling. So, if you think I can help you or you just need to vent or talk to someone, I’m always here for you guys just as I know many of you are for me. I encourage each and every one of you to use me as a shoulder to cry on. You’re all amazing and don’t you forget it. <333

—

(via theloveofperfection)

siriuslymagical:

Fear.

(Source: feel-free-and-comfy)

so little time O.O

—

I’ve been out and about and working on things everyday until about 8 or 9 this week. When I DO get home I’ve been super tired…so I haven’t been on the computer. :( Sorry guys…bear with me. I’m graduating next Friday and I’m doing quite a bit to get ends tied for that plus I’ve had to go to awards ceremonies and banquets mixed in with that. I WILL be posting a bit more over the weekend though most probably. :) Hope all is well with everyone and just know that any messages you guys send to my inbox will probably get a later response than usual. <333 Much love!!

—

(Source: pusheen)

(Source: blackskiesonmymind)

(Source: faithsharlet)

(Source: boundbyrealityy)

(Source: abby-of-earth)

(via dont-let-me-go-)

(via brianna-lynne14)

(Source: andyetimalive)

(Source: aznyangstaxox)